…a few weeks ago I got super stoned and ate an entire box of Cheese Nips in one sitting, and I hated myself for it the next day. I mean, mainly because I wanted more Cheese Nips the day after that, but still….
Wollen Sie wirklich mein Geld oder nicht? Ich kann gar nichts bezahlen, wenn das besser wäre. Ne, es wäre eigentlich am besten, wenn Sie ein bisschen höflicher zu Ihren Kunden wären!
…I never again have to hear the response, “What’s that?” after telling someone I want to study linguistics.
…is a week from the day after tomorrow.
…where acceptable answers in classes of higher education are along the lines of:
"I don’t really know why…but I’m obsessed with fireplaces….so like this one time, my boyfriend got me a space heater that looked like one."
"Yeah I think this ‘Religious Leap of Faith’ is really similar to Drake’s concept of #YOLO…"
(*People in my college philosophy class actually raise their hands and say this stuff.)
…that I was getting pulled over for drunk driving. But I was driving a bed down the interstate while looking at pictures of my newborn baby sister on my laptop, so the bottles of booze in my pockets were the least of my worries. Then later my sister called me on a landline here in Germany saying that she needed to buy me donuts. This was after I had woken up in a bedroom that was not mine and everyone in my dorm refused to acknowledge that anything was out of the ordinary, or that I was even there at all.